She came very unexpected, I was on birth control but it often made me sick so I was about to switch to a different kind. There was a week between the switch. I did not get on my period and I suspected that I might be pregnant.
I did two pregnancy tests and it turned out negative, so I thought next month I will be on my period. This did not happen, then I did two more tests and it turned out that I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I thought ”what now”. We were both very shocked and scared. Eventually we told our parents, my parents were very angry, I had not spoken to them in 2 weeks until I received a phone call that my mother had a brain haemorrhage. Since the brain haemorrhage the connection between me and my parents had been strengthened again, my parents indicated that they were worried because we both studied and did not have any work.
Since my mother had a brain haemorrhage she is not quite the same. The nine months that I was pregnant, I had a really hard time. I could not ask her questions or ask for advice. My pregnancy was a difficult subject for her. Sometimes I ask myself ” what if my mother did not had a brain haemorrhage, we would still not have contact? ”.
During my pregnancy my boyfriend and I did not have our own apartment. We lived with my parents in law at the time, this was very nice for me. My mother-in-law was very supportive, I could talk about my pregnancy and she gave helpful tips. After 7 months we were offered a house for a year. It was a very small apartment but it was enough to make a start.
During the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy I got a major rash, I could barely walk . The doctors did not know what it was, so it was a very uncertain time. In the end it became so bad that I had to give birth earlier so the result would decrease.
The first week after our daughter was born, was the hardest for me. I had to get used to the fact that we had a baby. Because of that I missed a lot at school, so I had to repeat the year. that’s why I decided to quit the last six months and start again next year at a school that was close by. I had to do a lot myself in the half year. My boyfriend was in school so I took care of our daughter. After a time, it became easier.
Because I am so young, people often say that I cannot handle it, and that I would not terrible mother. But because I am 21, this does not mean that I cannot take care of my child. I think it is ridiculous that people immediately judge young mothers. Of course everyone is different, but as soon as they hear about teen moms they create a certain image about you. After my pregnancy, many girls became pregnant. I was told that I had started a trend. This made me very angry. It is not that I have asked for it, it was very unexpected. I would have liked to wait for a while, because it is very heavy.
The consultation desk also made me feel like I am a young mother, they tried to make me very insecure and told me to do certain thing to do while I was not supporting it. I discussed this with the babysitter of my daughter, who was also a nurse herself. She also indicated that it is not right what was said. Said helped me a lot and made sure that the lady was confronted. After this confrontation, things are going well and I no longer feel insecure.
What about now?
We are now a year further and things are going really well. We have been together for almost 6 y
ears and we just moved to a bigger apartment, I also started school again. I work hard so as soon as I finish school I will find a nice job to offer her an even better future.